My Biography Posting: Mary Eleanor Bowes, Countess of Strathmore

A Few Facts You Should Know About Mary Eleanor Bowes...

• b. 1749, d. 1800
• Became the wealthiest heiress in Britain (some said Europe) when her coal mining and entrepreneurial father died when she was 11; he left everything to her
• Before then was extremely well-educated and coddled from infancy onward
• Studied a wide variety of subjects, as well as becoming proficient in French and Italian
• Fostered a life-long passion for botany
• Participated in the exclusive French salons with other social ladies of her day
• Also pursued her literary interests and in 1769 published The Siege of Jerusalem
• Married twice: First unhappily married to John Lyon, the 9th Earl of Strathmore, a loveless marriage that produced 5 children
• Perhaps best remembered for her second marriage to Andrew Robinson Stoney

And Now, On To the Good Stuff...

• Ever-charming "Captain" Stoney participated in a previously arranged duel in which he pretended to defend her honor due to some scurrilous articles published about her
• He had almost certainly written the articles himself
• He managed to seduce his way into her bed, heart, and most importantly, father's fortune
• Plunged Mary into the most miserable of marriages
• Mercilessly beat her and controlled her every action (quite literally, as she was not allowed to enjoy her favorite beverage of tea)
• Mary attempted a divorce after 9 years of heinous beatings
• Due to the prevailing Georgian legal climate at the time, this was a nearly impossible task, especially for a woman
• Grounds for divorce since Henry VIII only included incest, impotence, or possibly infertility (maybe if by some miracle you could prove adultery)
• Always the wife's fault, of course (divorce only granted to 132 male plaintiffs before 1800)
• In the case of Mary and Stoney, exhaustive cross-examinations of many witnesses were required, who were frequently paid off by Stoney or refused to testify altogether out of both fear and lack of funds
• Mary ultimately did file for divorce through the ecclesiastical courts
• Finalized after many rounds of legal battle
• Included his abduction of her and attempted rape in the meantime
• Proved that he had repeatedly denied her basic liberties and had physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused her

Why Should We Care About the Case of Mary Eleanor and Her Remarkable Divorce?

I think that Mary's escapade in trying to sever her chains (literally) to Stoney shows the extreme difficulty women like her in abusive relationships would have had to suffer and endure during her time in Georgian England. The truly sad part is that, while particularly violent, Mary's case was certainly one of many. Male violence and total dominance over their wives was somewhat accepted without question. I imagine that most of it went on behind closed doors. In fact, when, in some cases, mistreated wives emerged and tried to make known their husbands' violent ways, they were shunned as being "mad" and "insane;" indeed, some men managed to have their wives committed for trying to be vocal and escape from abusive relationships, especially by having their friends stand in on "committees" to declare the woman as such. Again, what was so difficult, I think, and important for us to remember about eighteenth century Georgian society at the time through our discussion for the campaign for women's rights was that society had such a tolerance for violence and male sexual freedom. This shows the need for an end to the faulty system in what was supposed to be the "sanctity of marriage."